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Wondering what what spins around and moves me, ahhh my mind chat. This page is dedicated to some of the thoughts and words of my life held still in my head.

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AUGUST 2011

Your suitcase MUST be lighter!

When I was 13 my family spent a summer visiting Europe. We travelled mostly by foot, bus, train and plane. Our luggage or “valise cases” (as my parents call them) were our own responsibility. This meant it was best to pack only the necessities. Being the youngest my bag was the smallest.

During this trip, like vagabonds, life was always in transition. There are 6 people in my immediate family. While moving from place to place, we looked a lot like a “wandering tribe.” One morning we headed, by foot, to our latest destination. The distance was further than we all imagined and our “positive attitude” was diminishing quickly.

As we continued to schlep all of our bags, our family unit started to squabble. My brother Jeff complained. He announced that his bag must be the heaviest. This of course is when my other brother said that his bag was, “definitely heavier.”

The banter between my brothers went on something like this:

Jeff: “Your bag is lighter, my bag is the heaviest.”

Dave: “Really, you think your bag is heavier?”

Jeff: “Yes, you want to trade?”

Dave: “If we trade, you can NOT have your bag back.”

For me, reflecting on this interaction is profound. Many of us see life outside our being as “easier.” The life of another may appear to be; “better, lighter, more fun or adventurous” the list is infinite. The question we may want to ask is, “do we really know what it is like to be in another body or experience a different life?”

Regardless of the “container” and what is inside, the “gravity/weight” of the situation is completely affected by our person ideology. The truth is we are all moving through this life at our own pace with a unique story.   Perception is a funny thing because we all see the same color blue in a slightly different hue.

Can we appreciate where we are and stay on course with our journey? The comparison with the “other” is really not our concern. We all have plenty to deal with in our own body, and it is a very entertaining journey.

By the way, when my brothers DID exchange bags, Jeff realized Dave’s bag felt heavier! There you have it, what looked lighter felt like a real load.

AUGUST 2011

August is here and I am amazed! July felt like an "in breath" taken too quickly.

Yesterday, my kids and I went to Kirtan Camp, led by Jai Uttal and many others. It is definitely one of my favorite places to sit, chant and release. This visit is a summer ritual for me and my kids. As Miles, my first son, was dancing and singing SHRI RAM JAI RAM JAI JAI RAM, my heart felt full. Present time enveloped me and I just sang out and remembered my inner truth of love. When he came over to give me a "snuggle" and nestled in my lap, I was held in the stillness. Until, of course, my mind shifted and took me back 8 years to when I attended Kirtan Camp pregnant with Miles. For those 10 days, I chanted, gathered with new friends and steep in the swell of the bhakti.

Here's to believing we can all create moments where we return to our truth and feel the great love in our heart and blessings in our lives. The more we can be with the now, the less we will tell ourselves another story. So, I really DARE you to keep calm and stay present. For me it is always a BIG WOW and a great challenge.

JULY 2011

July is here! Hope fireworks are continuing to light up your life all week. Independence day launched my bottle rocket into a space and returned with a reminder to reclaim my most important relationship, the one with myself. This meant choosing to do something special. So, I took myself for a hilly outdoor walk and then to lunch, a successful date and I felt true love, for me. My wish for all of us, is we create time and space to enjoy ourselves and appreciate who we are and what we contribute to our community.

JUNE 2011

Get juicy and Smooth

My juicer and vitamix are my new BFs. Over a year ago, I eliminated gluten from my diet because of a health issue. These days I often juice in the morning, sometimes afternoon, and treat myself to a smoothie at some point during the day.

Below are a few of my favorite yummy drinks. I bust these out to help me get through a day that often begins before sunrise. This stuff keeps me happy and supports me in being my best self, wife, mom to my 3 kids and teacher to my students.

Hope you enjoy…

Chia Treat (it ain’t just a pet any more, chachachachia!)

8oz. coconut water

2table spoons organic chia seeds

Protein powder

Handfull of berries (fresh or frozen)

Ice too.

Blend and enjoy!

The HULK (In a juice extractor)

3 carrots

4 stalks of celery

hand full of parsley

piece of ginger

slice of lemon

PS…more ginger during cold season

PPS…add beets for a lil’something something

Date A Banana Smoothie

8oz. Sprouted Almond milk (coconut OR rice milk whatever you prefer)

1 date (remove pit)

½ banana (frozen or fresh)

HEMP Protein (whey works too)

4 ice cubs

BLEND it and enjoy!

PS…For an added BUZZ, throw is a fresh shot of espresso

PPS…For more green bonus power, fresh kale, don’t be intimidated by the color, green is great, and the color for the heart chakra

October 2010

ONE Source

Are there really any original ideas or thoughts? Ever notice how fashion trends are so strong. Do you see one designer do something that no one else is creating some variation of in another line? This seems to hold true in life, as well as, yoga class.

A few months back, I was in New York and went to a new studio and took a class with a new teacher. As the flow was unfolding, I recognized the sequence. The theme and poses were almost identical to a class I had shared with students in California just a few days before. Just a note, it was not the 26 Bikram poses nor the Ashtanga series.

Yes, we may have had a possible common lineage of teachers. It felt like more than a coincidence.   This is not the first time, I have been in yoga and smiled inside knowing the practice. In fact, just the other day I was moving through a class I haven’t been to in months and BAM again…same amazing stuff.

These experiences reiterate something I have always believed. Most teachers are sharing the yoga and being a conduit for one BIG message. No matter what you present, it is all the same source of divine wisdom. This is why yoga is really magical and freeing. Being in the moment makes every class special and unique.

September 2010

There seems to be a trend in body aches lately and it is all about the back (shoulders are for another time). Several of my clients, students and friends are complaining about throwing out their low back or severe lombar pain.   Are we really at the stage in life when body ailments are so rampant?

After deeper inquiry, many respond with the same story. The origin of the pain is around the lowest part of the spine. They also usually complain about, “weak abs” and/or “lack of support.”

Core muscles are a necessity for a healthy body, mind and life.

When building any structure, a strong foundation is essential in the architecture. Just like in the body, creating a stable ground is an inside job.   When one learns to engage the core muscles with a sense of balanced action, both front and back body support, the whole being is happier.

If you commit to strengthening and integrating your power center, the body will shift.   Really it is simple, start small with a daily routine and you will wake up your belly brain.   Developing a stronger abdominal region will alleviate some of the back pain.

Here is a basic curl to begin your journey of connection to your center.

In a supine (on back) position:

Basic Lifts: 8 repetitions (reminder: pelvis is in a neutral spine, little natural curve at lombar spine) Interlace hands under head, hold head (arms support, release neck into hands)

Inhale to prepare, spine still and in neutral

Exhale CURL and LIFT, head and shoulders come up together

Inhale HOLD in curled up position

Exhale return down

*Reminder to keep a focal point of a stable engaged belly, hide the navel up and under the ribs.

C

elebrate you strength and initiate your moments from your core. If you need more motivation, look out for a group Pilates class or make an investment in yourself and see an instructor for a few privates.

August 2010

Muti-tasking = mindlessness

Sometimes, I feel like I am losing my mind. Really though, I am just being

mindLESS.

The other night, my husband commented, “You are always plugged in.” Busted, I was texting a friend, while hanging out with him. Immediately, my defensive side came out to play. After all, he was the one who got me the “incredible” phone, to always be connected.

Completing lots of tasks means you are accomplishing something, right? Can you be addicted to, getting it all done? Is getting one task done enough? These are questions I ponder when I am, emailing, pumping, baking cookies and chatting on the phone all at once.

Here’s the thing of it, I truly enjoy helping others and feel like a team player. Plus, I am guilty of feeling success when the list is checked off. How can I cultivate peace and get all the s**t done?

Oh yeah, when I was pregnant and was committed to a daily morning meditation practice the quiet came with ease and less effort. Also, teaching yoga, I notice the presence of clarity and my focus sharp. In the past when I attending a silent retreat or yoga getaway it definitely allowed for contentment and stillness.

Here is what life looks like right now for me without meditation.

The other morning, totally in my multi-tasking state, making breakfast, 2 lunches and snacks, I was certain I threw $100 out with the trash. It was crazy. Zero recognition. "What the ***K?" Why didn’t I have a clue where the $$went?

Then the phone rang and it was my husband. I stopped and allowed for a huge PAUSE. “Wait,” I said, “stay on the phone with me and let me take a breath and retrace my steps.” Ahh, here I am, PRESENT, in the NOW and just like that I recalled wearing a jacket. Quickly I found the money in my pocket and did a little dance.

This whole process reiterated something. I really can only do one thing at a time.

Why does it make so much sense when I am on the yoga mat? The practice invites me in every time and reminds me the importance of the space between and intentional pauses in life. This is why yoga=mindfulness.

July 2010

Wanderlust, a natural journey of play and appreciation

Music moves me, silence invites me in and yoga makes me happy!

So far in my life, I have rocked out at many music festivals, Lallapalooza, Free Tibet, Reggae on the River and Burning Man to name a few. Just to be clear, I live a relatively simple life in Northern California with my family.   When I heard about Wanderlust last year, I thought, YUM, almost as good as chocolate and peanut butter, yoga and music, just the right mix.

This past weekend, with a favorite buddy, we hit Wanderlust and participated in all its glory. There were lovely people, positive energy, sweet tunes and incredible fresh air.

Squaw Valley is usually a place I frequent in the winter for skiing. Imagine my delight, arriving to a clear warm day in the mountains.   Friendly faces everywhere and the beauty of nature surrounding. Gratitude immediately filled my being and I quietly thanked my husband for taking all the kids, for I knew this weekend would be special.

Practicing and being in an outdoor studio was inspiring.   Feeling the breeze flow through the tent, while enjoying the cool “kula” peeps, my face was in a permanent smiling asana. My heart and mind felt clear and peaceful, pure joy. What amazed me was the openness and flexibility in both my mind and body.

The other classes I participated in were indoors and still fabulous. The high ceilings and cabin feeling kept me grounded in the present. It was great to take classes from a few amazing East Coast teachers, thanks Nikki and Schuyler.   Super impressive too was our surprise guest of music by David Stringer throughout the practice.

I skipped out of my final class and felt a bit naughty, like a high school delinquent. Truth is, I wanted to chill and enjoy the vibe of no rushing.  It felt so right to just be.

The evening was wonderful. While I would love to exaggerate and tell you my posse ROCKED out hard and partied to the wee hours, instead with my yoGAL friends we enjoyed some QT. While we did hear the music in the distance, chatting late into the night felt like the perfect alignment for our gang.

Looking forward 2011 and all the Wander!

June 2010

Presence

Life seems to be moving more and more quickly these days. The time is about to change and more daylight will fill the day. Just this morning, after waking at 6:22am, I was greeted by a clear sunny day and it amazed me.

Then movement happened and bam, I was blasted forward into the day. Quickly, I began checking email, making a to do list, grabbing a banana and then my client arrived.

Wow, in just 5 minutes my whole being went from observing the day to multi-tasking. Did I completely miss out on the silence and peace in my home? It felt like images fast forwarding in a movie, hopefully I didn’t miss too much.

Do we ever notice how sometimes spacing out happens more than tuning in to our now experience? When did taking our time lose value? Even while I type, the computer screen has multiple pages open.   Remember when just 1 program operated at a time? I’m not even sure there is a purpose in me seeing all the other pages.

All these questions busy my mind and then I remember, BREATHE, relax, slow down and be here. For me, just a simple reminder brings me back to the present. Then I investigate, where is my breath going in my body, how is my posture, how do I feel right now?

I invite you to take a moment, check in with yourself, where are you? Right now is all we have. The present really is the gift, if you are paying attention, so WAKE UP.

May 2010

Flying Lesson

Cirque de Soleil has always amazed me. The multi-talents and incredible strength of the performers is a wonder. The closest I have ever come to being in a circus was at 10. The other day though, I had a true feeling of the courage and freedom it takes to be under the big tent.

A friend turned 40 and we all went to Circus School with trapeze as our class. For me this was an amazing and invigorating experience.

Although I am adventurous, heights are not my favorite challenge. The teacher reminded us, “you don’t have to be flexible, strong or even a gymnast, you just have to LISTEN, empty your mind and LISTEN.” Immediately, I was excited, I can do that, don’t think, this is so ZEN.

After climbing the narrow, metal tall ladder and reaching a tiny platform 25 feet up, I felt my heart race. My brain kept saying, relax but I was so scared.

Belted into the harness, then clicked into the safety lines, knowing the net was below, I felt supported yet hesitant. Then I leaned forward to grab the trapeze with my right hand. Now sweaty and a bit shaky, my left hand was holding on and the only thing keeping me from mid air. “READY,” then, “HEP,“ I paused when I was supposed to jump. Again I hear, “READY,” knees bend chest and hips forward, “HEP.” Feet off the pedestal, hands holding tight, arms straight, high in the air, I am FLYING, OMG.

Wow, I am gliding in the air. Then I hear a command, “legs over the bar,” lifting my legs I hear my breath, knees hook. Next, “hands off the bar and reach,” my hands release the bar and reach straight over my head, the momentum continues until I catch his eye and he grabs my arms. More smooth swinging until he lets me go. Down I land, enveloped in the net, ahhh.

I sigh, then a huge rush, an inner and outer smile and a content moment.

What fabulous exercise and a real challenge. The movement felt like fearlessness in the form of courage for me.

The following day every part of my body was sore, lifting my arms over my head took lots of effort. The flying was a jolt and a process of awakening that reminded me how important it is to live and stay curious all through life.

April 2010

Seen and heard

Yoga really is everywhere!

When I began this practice 15 years ago my friends thought I was weird. “What is with all the breathing, weird movements and meditation,” they would ask. Now, we see yoga in commercials, print ads and students carry mats into coffee shops.

Here is what has amazed me in the last few weeks.

In the dressing room at Nordstrom, the sales woman in the next stall says to her customer, “those jeans are just the right tight. When you get home do a few downward facing dogs and they will stretch out perfectly.” I had to hold my breath not to laugh out. When did down dog become so mainstream? I always thought deep squats and a sucked in belly were recommended for stretching the jeans.

Then the very next day, I am heading to the Warfield for music in San Francisco. Keep in mind I have seen Ben Harper, Rancid and maybe even Michael Franti at this amazing venue. That night, however, I was going for an evening of Kirtan, chanting, with Krishna Das. The vibe was different. A packed house, filled with mellow people, singing to the divine in such a well known music hall. Chanting always transcends the place for me, however, on this night, I found the thought pop up, am I really at the Warfield?

Finally, in May, the famous Fillmore in San Francisco will have a yoga and music day. For real, people will practice yoga, get their groove on and then listen to some yoga inspired music, all at the FILLMORE. Now, that is amazing, remember all the incredible groups who have played the Fillmore.

The times they are a changin’! Maybe people really are ready to WAKE UP and MOVE, PRAY and find inner peace anywhere. I say, more power to ya.

April 2010

Shakti Rocks

My spring equinox yoga retreat just completed and I am still flying high from all the positive girl energy. The Sangha, community, created by gathering twenty-seven women was beautiful and empowering. The feeling of strength, joy, love and laughter was contagious.

The majority of the ladies came solo craving peace, quiet, movement and an intention of restoring their mind and body.   Even from the first moments in meditation, the room was humming with a sweet and strong Goddess vibe. When the flow began, the Shakti (simply put divine feminine creative power) was rising!

As the practice finished and we transitioned to dinner, the atmosphere had a true feeling of sisterhood. Strangers sat together and chatting like old friends sharing intimate stories and light filled the room. The environment was open and clear for anything to happen.

The second day allowed for more yoga, massage, play and rest. Everyone was invited and encouraged to take the best care of themselves. Some women chose not to talk for a bit, others gathered or walked around to take in nature. By night time, it felt like family without all the dysfunction.

Moving through the evening practice, I observed an incredible warrior like quality of power weaved with a supple free flow.   Everyone was in the moment and feeling the mojo. So, when I decided to mix it up, it was no surprise the women embraced moving off the mat and getting funky all over the room. Imagine a groovy disco dance party for 17 minutes.

The weekend was a reminder for all the women to stay true to their authentic divine self. Revealing their big hearts, strong muscles and flexible minds. As I reflect, I smile and know deep down, GIRLS RULE!

March 2010

Presence

Life seems to be moving more and more quickly these days. The time is about to change and more daylight will fill the day. Just this morning, after waking at 6:22am, I was greeted by a clear sunny day and it amazed me.

Then movement happened and bam, I was blasted forward into the day. Quickly, I began checking email, making a to do list, grabbing a banana and then my client arrived.

Wow, in just 5 minutes my whole being went from observing the day to multi-tasking. Did I completely miss out on the silence and peace in my home? It felt like images fast forwarding in a movie, hopefully I didn’t miss too much.

Do we ever notice how sometimes spacing out happens more than tuning in to our now experience? When did taking our time lose value? Even while I type, the computer screen has multiple pages open.   Remember when just 1 program operated at a time? I’m not even sure there is a purpose in me seeing all the other pages.

All these questions busy my mind and then I remember, BREATHE, relax, slow down and be here. For me, just a simple reminder brings me back to the present. Then I investigate, where is my breath going in my body, how is my posture, how do I feel right now?

I invite you to take a moment, check in with yourself, where are you? Right now is all we have. The present really is the gift, if you are paying attention, so WAKE UP.

February 2010

LOVE thy SELF

February is a month for love. Everything from Valentine’s Day to the stay-in-and-snuggle weather makes this second month a time for adoration and endearment. Yet it is easy in this period of roaring fireplaces and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates to forget that real love starts with SELF LOVE. It is for this reason that I remind you to take time this month to treat and value yourself.

To do this, you must first appreciate your life, health, friends, family, and even pets if you have any. Take notice of all the kind beings that surround and support you on a daily basis. Focusing on these small blessings is what allows us to see the big picture.

The next step is to dare to be compassionate and kind to your self. Eliminate all your hypercritical and negative moments of introspection. Catch yourself when you find that you are being pessimistic or unfairly comparing yourself to others and say “PAUSE.”  Then ask “Why am I being unkind to myself?”

Remember, change is a process and acceptance is always a challenge. Start with easy steps to love being you: take a nature walk, get a massage, meditate or simply do something you know makes you happy. All in all, you want to celebrate how wonderful you are. You will find that this approach makes life more fun and fulfilling. As it is written on the key chain I carry around with me: “Love the life you live and live the life you love.”

Happy Valentines Day!

January 2010

Commit

I get excited every year when January rolls around. The whole month represents a new beginning. Not only is it a time of reflection, it is also an opportunity to craft a new vision for the 365 days ahead.

Several years back, I made the conscious decision to shy away from the typical resolution list (exercise more, eat healthier, etc.). I decided to take a more holistic approach, electing to improve my mind, body and spirit. This approach meant I had to do more than set some loose guidelines (which I would probably loosen and all but forget by March). It meant permanently shifting certain aspects of my life for a full calendar year.

For example, one year I committed to completing 2 marathons, biking from San Francisco to LA, reading at least 4 books, and (perhaps the most challenging of them all) integrating self-compassion and removing critical thoughts from my mind. This set of yearly goals demanded dramatic changes in the way I lived. It made the entire year an incredible and challenging journey.

Through this journey, I learned that all the things we want to achieve in life are possible with full commitment. This upcoming year, dare to do more with your resolutions. Write down what you really, really want to do this year and do it. Commit and be courageous. You may find that the year long process is more rewarding than the year end results.

Happy New Year.

November 2009

Get Rooted!

When the season changes and holiday time arrives, it always seems like a challenge to stay grounded in our body and daily lives. These times, as always, are a great opportunity to practice vrksasana, tree pose. To do so, just follow these steps:

*First stand upright while grounding down equally through your right and left foot.
*Balance both feet, avoid leaning forward/back or left and right
*Engage all the muscles of your left leg, feel the muscles wrap around the bones.
*Lift and place the right foot onto the top of left inner thigh, toes pointing down.
*Hands move to heart center in prayer and then rise toward the sky.
*Hold this pose for several breaths, remember trees bend and sway, enjoy the subtle movements.
*Switch sides and repeat the steps.

Practice this pose in the morning for a few moments or whenever you are feeling a little off your center. Most importantly, take time during your busy day to be still and strong. This pose will help strengthen your legs and keep your mind and body steady.

October 2009

Just sit still

People are always asking me “How do I begin a meditation practice?” This is a difficult question to answer because in reality there is no right answer. There are many ways to establish your personal practice and you just need to figure out what works best for you.

However, there are some basic steps one can take to get started:

Step 1: Find a place where you can concentrate without interruption.

Step 2: Allocate an amount of time and set a timer. Start with 10 minutes and try to work yourself up to a daily time of 30-45 minutes.

Step 3: Establish a comfortable seated position on a cushion or in a chair. It is recommended to sit cross legged, but do what works for you.

Step 4: Begin by breathing deeply. Lengthen through the crown of your head and ground through your pelvis. Sitting upright and aligned aids the mind and attention.

Step 5: Recite inwardly, “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be peaceful and at ease.” You can continually repeat this or just notice what happens with your mind.

Step 6: Keep observing everything. Keep your mind open.

Don’t grasp on to any thoughts. Just breathe and let go.

Remember, there are no “bad” meditation practitioners and no right answers. Just follow these steps and see what happens if you dare to just sit still.

September 2009

Simplify

Our family just returned from a vacation, full of rest, in Southern California. It feels weird to even admit it, yet we all feel more relaxed and I can see it in our faces. It made me wonder if, we ever realize the importance of resting, ahem adults?

When our first travel day ended, we happily arrived at the beach in Santa Barbara. The initial transition to being away from home meant a night of light sleep and adjustment. There was even a moment where my husband spoke out about considering turning around and heading back home in the morning. Our over-tired children were misbehaving and too loud for our hotel, although it was only 8pm.

When we woke with fresh eyes, we embraced the new surrounding and different daily life. It will all just get easier I assured everyone. As we began to settle into a routine of only family time, walking, and seeing new places and faces, everything SLOWED.

With no house to clean and no meals to cook, there was a real ease to the flow of the day. One of the boys still naps and it was a blessing for us all. After lunch the whole family participated in quiet time. We discovered we all needed to put our feet up and chill out. Wow, a daily “siesta” happened for me, ahh sleep.

The late afternoons were filled with walking, swimming, beach time and an energized family. Bedtime was almost always 8pm for the kids and 9:30 for the adults. While we had imagined late nights, our bodies kept reminding us to rest. We did mange to stay up for a hotel movie or later dinner a few nights, however mostly we slept, deep sleep.

It was the first time we have travelled together and not over done it. No BIG adventures, sure we went to the zoo, aquarium, pier etc. What I learned was simple. Being together in our family is enough, it is a lot. All the “things” I thought we had to DO to fill our time just melted away and never happened. We shared lots of laughs, enjoyed nature, each other and best of all came home excited and well rested.

Sleep, it is essential to happiness!

August 2009

Sing Out!

My voice is raspy. Doctors labeled me a “screamer” from babyhood and apparently this created “nodules on vocal chords.”    Many people say I sound like Lauren Bacall, which might be a compliment, but not for a 4 year old.

After teaching yoga, I discovered Kirtan music, devotional chanting. This type of music/singing is said to heal and even bust open your heart. It all sounded a bit too California for this East coast gal. Then I was given a CD and I listened. Good stuff, mellow yet rich with feeling, warming to my heart, ut oh!?   Even my father, born in Brooklyn, said he felt emotional when he heard chanting the first time.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I attended a Kirtan Camp. 10 days of chanting, learning about gods and goddesses plus lots of interesting stuff. At first I did feel out of place, with no music background and definitely NOT a singing voice. The feeling went away quickly.

Most of my friends were surprised I informed them the music was for the growing baby in my tummy.   We started the day and 45 minutes would pass, simply chanting, SITA RAM. It was like being immersed in a wave and sea, what was happening?

It was fulfilling and fun for both the baby and me. It was pure joy, love, happiness and blessings of opening the heart. The added bonus was a new comfort with my voice, and a true desire to share it. WOW!

The final day, all students were invited to help lead a12 hour Kirtan, open to the public. Super nervous and questioning, would people leave or not respond to me? This isn’t about me though, it is about sharing the divine with all. So, I leap and led, eyes closed of course, to a large group, some friends, mostly strangers.

After camp, life with a new baby took over and my singing audience was the safest, bedtime for my son. Later, my husband got me a harmonium as a gift. Occasionally, I would playa cord and then away the harmonium went. Back to collecting dust. Finally, a friend and I decided to take lessons together. It is amazing how much fun learning an instrument can be when you have no expectations of becoming a professional.

Now chanting is a part of my yoga classes and household. Singing has become a moment of freedom for me. My heart continues to find the space for everything. It is sunshine when my children run thru the house chanting the names of the divine.

Also, it's incredible when my students say, “it is like a lullaby in shavasana when you sing to us.” Me, with the one with the hoarse voice, really? Everyone enjoys hearing the divine being called, no matter who is chanting it.

July 2009

Silence is Golden

Have you ever consciously chosen not to speak? Not out of anger or lack of words to express how you feel. Just deciding, today, I am not talking. Today, I will move with mindfulness, aware of what I am doing right now. Being present to whatever happens, no planning for future stuff.

A few months ago, I found myself wanting to go on silent retreat. I went online, found a retreat with space, immediately printed and filled out the form. A week went by, still holding the form, I looked and the retreat was full. Why had I procrastinated? That day I sent the sheet to the center.

Well, I got in to the retreat, and decided, with the total support of my husband, to attend. A silent retreat my friends would say, “why?” “You actually want to go away and not talk, what will you do there?” “Why not hit the spa?”

There is a spiritual teacher who reminds us the words SILENT and LISTEN have the exact same letters. My intention was to get silent, listen in the quiet and be with myself. It was exciting and also I sensed a bit of hesitancy, nothing to do, no kids, no cooking, just sitting, walking, eating and sleeping, it sounds simple.

When I arrived at the center, something shifted and I could already feel my desire to be quiet set in. Once parked, I felt really absorbed in nature. Heading up the hill, my steps slowed, my mind felt ready for the peace coming. Maybe this was going to be easier then I thought after all.

The daily schedule began at 5:45am sit, eat, morning job, and more sit, walk, sit, walk, sit, eat and in the evening there was a dharma talk. Bedtime was at 9:30 and although none of it sounds tiring I was always asleep quickly. As the retreat progressed, the full spectrum of emotions, distractions, and moments of peace moved through me.

At one point, I realized, meditation is a skill. This practice takes training and dedication. Here I was in a half marathon of the stillness and I had barely trained. I definitely did NOT have a daily meditation routine prior to these 5 days. Somewhere in my mind though, I expected to be, “successful” at the task.

While there was nothing to do, a lot “happened” for me at the retreat. The beauty of the practice is still “unfolding” within me daily. Now, I am committed to my training. I wake with 30 minutes of intentional sitting. I time the event, just as I do when I am physically training my body. When the buzzer goes off, I feel a sense of gratitude for the silent practice.

Now my mind and heart are motivated to start the day with quiet and I sit. All one has to do is get up, sit still and breathe. Sounds easy right? It is incredible what shows up in the silence.

June 2009

PlayOut and work it!

My sons were playing hard the other day, they were running, jumping and dancing around the house. The shirts are off and one says, “we are really sweating mom.” I found myself reflecting on the importance of movement in my life. Sports and play have always been essential in my daily routine. I began to wonder, “when did playing hard become working out?”

For the past 9 years, I have been fortunate to train clients in Pilates and teach group yoga classes. It always amazes me to see the transformation in the students’ posture, face and energy in just a few moments of conscious motion. Could this really be play?

The form of exercise is anything, up the stairs, around the track, in the pool and on and on. Everyone always seems to feel better after shifting the shape of the body from being still to dynamic. Just remember how great a simple twist feels after a long car ride.

After watching the boys, I decided to include this lesson/message into my next group yoga class and with private clients. When the public yoga class began we sat in meditation. I invited the students to recall a time when they were having fun in space, letting go and freeing their bodies. Normally, my eyes remain closed, however, that day, I admit, I peeked and opened my eyes. Immediately, I observed a shift in the majority of the faces. They quickly to soften, relaxed and some smiled.

The entire class focused on a strong flow with reiteration of each new asana, pose, as a new part of playing on the mat. The questioned I posed for the students was, “are you playing hard or working out?” How does one feel? Rejuvenated, depleted, excited, energized or exhausted?

As the class came to close and the students took corpse (resting) pose, the room was silent. When the students returned to a seated pose, my final words were something like this, “perhaps we most often think of exercise as a workout. Is it possible to remember, we really might just be playing?” Several students came directly up to me with enthusiasm and said, “I feel amazing. Wow, my body feels great. Moving is wonderful.”

Really the class was the same stuff, as always yoga is about liberating the mind, body and life. Before your next, “workout” I really encourage you to remember, is it possible that you are just making time for PLAYing hard.

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