Not
sure what spins your world, but here is what moves around in my mind.
This is a page dedicated to some of the thoughts and words of my life.
July 2010
Wanderlust, a natural journey of play and appreciation
Music moves me, silence invites me in and yoga makes me
happy!
So far in my life, I have rocked out at many music
festivals, Lallapalooza, Free Tibet, Reggae on the River and Burning Man to
name a few. Just to be clear, I
live a relatively simple life in Northern California with my family. When I heard about Wanderlust
last year, I thought, YUM, almost as good as chocolate and peanut butter, yoga
and music, just the right mix.
This past weekend, with a favorite buddy, we hit Wanderlust
and participated in all its glory.
There were lovely people, positive energy, sweet tunes and incredible
fresh air.
Squaw Valley is usually a place I frequent in the winter for
skiing. Imagine my delight, arriving
to a clear warm day in the mountains. Friendly faces everywhere and the beauty of nature surrounding. Gratitude immediately
filled my being and I quietly thanked my husband for taking all the kids, for I
knew this weekend would be special.
Practicing and being in an outdoor studio was
inspiring. Feeling the
breeze flow through the tent, while enjoying the cool “kula” peeps, my face was
in a permanent smiling asana. My
heart and mind felt clear and peaceful, pure joy. What amazed me was the openness and flexibility in both my
mind and body.
The other classes I participated in were indoors and still
fabulous. The high ceilings and
cabin feeling kept me grounded in the present. It was great to take classes from a few amazing East Coast
teachers, thanks Nikki and Schuyler. Super impressive too was our surprise guest of music
by David Stringer throughout the practice.
I skipped out of my final class and felt a bit naughty, like
a high school delinquent. Truth
is, I wanted to chill and enjoy the vibe of no rushing. It felt so right to just be.
The evening was wonderful. While I would love to exaggerate and tell you my posse
ROCKED out hard and partied to the wee hours, instead with my yoGAL friends we
enjoyed some QT. While we did hear
the music in the distance, chatting late into the night felt like the perfect
alignment for our gang.
Looking forward 2011 and all the Wander!
June 2010
Presence
Life seems to be moving more
and more quickly these days. The
time is about to change and more daylight will fill the day. Just this morning, after waking at
6:22am, I was greeted by a clear sunny day and it amazed me.
Then movement happened and bam,
I was blasted forward into the day.
Quickly, I began checking email, making a to do list, grabbing a banana
and then my client arrived.
Wow, in just 5 minutes my
whole being went from observing the day to multi-tasking. Did I completely miss out on the
silence and peace in my home? It felt like images fast forwarding in a movie,
hopefully I didn’t miss too much.
Do we ever notice how
sometimes spacing out happens more than tuning in to our now experience? When did taking our time lose value? Even while I type, the computer screen
has multiple pages open. Remember
when just 1 program operated at a time?
I’m not even sure there is a purpose in me seeing all the other pages.
All these questions busy my mind
and then I remember, BREATHE, relax, slow down and be here. For me, just a simple reminder brings
me back to the present. Then I
investigate, where is my breath going in my body, how is my posture, how do I
feel right now?
I invite you to take a moment,
check in with yourself, where are you? Right now is all we have. The present really is the gift, if you
are paying attention, so WAKE UP.
May 2010
Flying Lesson
Cirque de Soleil
has always amazed me. The
multi-talents and incredible strength of the performers is a wonder. The closest I have ever come to being
in a circus was at 10. The other
day though, I had a true feeling of the courage and freedom it takes to be under
the big tent.
A friend turned
40 and we all went to Circus School with trapeze as our class. For me this was an amazing and
invigorating experience.
Although I am adventurous, heights are not my favorite
challenge. The teacher reminded us,
“you don’t have to be flexible, strong or even a gymnast, you just have to
LISTEN, empty your mind and LISTEN.”
Immediately, I was excited, I can do that, don’t think, this is so ZEN.
After climbing the narrow, metal tall ladder and reaching a tiny
platform 25 feet up, I felt my heart race. My brain kept saying, relax but I was so scared.
Belted into the harness, then clicked into the safety lines,
knowing the net was below, I felt supported yet hesitant. Then I leaned forward to grab the
trapeze with my right hand. Now
sweaty and a bit shaky, my left hand was holding on and the only thing keeping
me from mid air. “READY,” then,
“HEP,“ I paused when I was supposed to jump. Again I hear, “READY,” knees bend chest and hips forward, “HEP.” Feet off the pedestal, hands holding
tight, arms straight, high in the air, I am FLYING, OMG.
Wow, I am gliding in the air. Then I hear a command, “legs over the bar,” lifting my legs
I hear my breath, knees hook. Next,
“hands off the bar and reach,” my hands release the bar and reach straight over
my head, the momentum continues until I catch his eye and he grabs my
arms. More smooth swinging until
he lets me go. Down I land,
enveloped in the net, ahhh.
I sigh, then a huge rush, an inner and outer smile and a content
moment.
What fabulous exercise and a real challenge. The movement
felt like fearlessness in the form of courage for me.
The following day every part of my body was sore, lifting my
arms over my head took lots of effort.
The flying was a jolt and a process of awakening that reminded me how
important it is to live and stay curious all through life.
April 2010
Seen and heard
Yoga really is everywhere!
When I began this practice 15 years ago my friends thought I
was weird. “What is with all the
breathing, weird movements and meditation,” they would ask. Now, we see yoga in commercials, print
ads and students carry mats into coffee shops.
Here is what has amazed me in the last few weeks.
In the dressing room at Nordstrom, the sales woman in the
next stall says to her customer, “those jeans are just the right tight. When you get home do a few downward
facing dogs and they will stretch out perfectly.” I had to hold my breath not
to laugh out. When did down dog
become so mainstream? I always
thought deep squats and a sucked in belly were recommended for stretching the
jeans.
Then the very next day, I am heading to the Warfield for
music in San Francisco. Keep in
mind I have seen Ben Harper, Rancid and maybe even Michael Franti at this
amazing venue. That night,
however, I was going for an evening of Kirtan, chanting, with Krishna Das. The vibe was different. A packed house, filled with mellow
people, singing to the divine in such a well known music hall. Chanting always transcends the place
for me, however, on this night, I found the thought pop up, am I really at the
Warfield?
Finally, in May, the famous Fillmore in San Francisco will
have a yoga and music day. For
real, people will practice yoga, get their groove on and then listen to some
yoga inspired music, all at the FILLMORE.
Now, that is amazing, remember all the incredible groups who have played
the Fillmore.
The times they are a changin’! Maybe people really are ready to WAKE UP and MOVE, PRAY and find
inner peace anywhere. I say, more
power to ya.
April 2010
Shakti Rocks
My spring equinox yoga retreat just completed and I am still
flying high from all the positive girl energy. The Sangha, community, created by gathering twenty-seven women
was beautiful and empowering.
The feeling of strength, joy, love and laughter was contagious.
The majority of the ladies came solo craving peace, quiet,
movement and an intention of restoring their mind and body. Even from the first moments in
meditation, the room was humming with a sweet and strong Goddess vibe. When the flow began, the Shakti (simply put divine feminine creative power) was rising!
As the practice finished and we transitioned to dinner, the
atmosphere had a true feeling of sisterhood. Strangers sat together and chatting like old friends sharing
intimate stories and light filled the room. The environment was open and clear for anything to happen.
The second day allowed for more yoga, massage, play and rest. Everyone was invited and encouraged to
take the best care of themselves.
Some women chose not to talk for a bit, others gathered or walked around
to take in nature. By night time,
it felt like family without all the dysfunction.
Moving through the evening practice, I observed an
incredible warrior like quality of power weaved with a supple free flow. Everyone was in the moment and
feeling the mojo. So, when I
decided to mix it up, it was no surprise the women embraced moving off the mat
and getting funky all over the room.
Imagine a groovy disco dance party for 17 minutes.
The weekend was a reminder for all the women to stay true to
their authentic divine self. Revealing
their big hearts, strong muscles and flexible minds. As I reflect, I smile and know deep down, GIRLS RULE!
March 2010
Presence
Life seems to be moving more and more quickly these
days. The time is about to change
and more daylight will fill the day.
Just this morning, after waking at 6:22am, I was greeted by a clear
sunny day and it amazed me.
Then movement happened and bam, I was blasted forward into
the day. Quickly, I began checking
email, making a to do list, grabbing a banana and then my client arrived.
Wow, in just 5 minutes my whole being went from observing
the day to multi-tasking. Did I
completely miss out on the silence and peace in my home? It felt like images fast
forwarding in a movie, hopefully I didn’t miss too much.
Do we ever notice how sometimes spacing out happens more
than tuning in to our now experience?
When did taking our time lose value? Even while I type, the computer screen has multiple pages
open. Remember when just 1
program operated at a time? I’m
not even sure there is a purpose in me seeing all the other pages.
All these questions busy my mind and then I remember,
BREATHE, relax, slow down and be here.
For me, just a simple reminder brings me back to the present. Then I investigate, where is my breath
going in my body, how is my posture, how do I feel right now?
I invite you to take a moment, check in with yourself, where
are you? Right now is all we have.
The present really is the gift, if you are paying attention, so WAKE UP.
February 2010
LOVE thy SELF
February is a month for
love. Everything from Valentine’s Day to the stay-in-and-snuggle weather makes this
second month a time for adoration and endearment. Yet it is easy in this period
of roaring fireplaces and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates to forget that real
love starts with SELF LOVE. It is for this reason that I remind you to
take time this month to treat and value yourself.
To do this, you must
first appreciate your life, health, friends, family, and even pets if you have
any. Take notice of all the kind beings that surround and support you on
a daily basis. Focusing on these small blessings is what allows us to see the
big picture.
The next step is to dare
to be compassionate and kind to your self. Eliminate all your hypercritical
and negative moments of introspection. Catch yourself when you find that you
are being pessimistic or unfairly comparing yourself to others and say “PAUSE.” Then
ask “Why am I being unkind to myself?”
Remember, change is a
process and acceptance is always a challenge. Start with easy steps to love
being you: take a nature walk, get a massage, meditate or simply do something you know
makes you happy. All in all, you want to celebrate how wonderful you are.
You will find that this approach makes life more fun and fulfilling. As it
is written on the key chain I carry around with me: “Love the life you live and
live the life you love.”
Happy Valentines Day!
January 2010
Commit
I get excited every year when January rolls
around. The whole month represents a new beginning. Not only is it
a time of reflection, it is also an opportunity to craft a new vision for the
365 days ahead.
Several years back, I made the conscious decision
to shy away from the typical resolution list (exercise more, eat healthier,
etc.). I decided to take a more holistic approach, electing to improve my
mind, body and spirit. This approach meant I had to do more than set some
loose guidelines (which I would probably loosen and all but forget by March). It
meant permanently shifting certain aspects of my life for a full calendar year.
For example, one year I committed to
completing 2 marathons, biking from San Francisco to LA, reading at least 4
books, and (perhaps the most challenging of them all) integrating
self-compassion and removing critical thoughts from my mind. This set of
yearly goals demanded dramatic changes in the way I lived. It made the
entire year an incredible and challenging journey.
Through this journey, I learned that all
the things we want to achieve in life are possible with full commitment. This
upcoming year, dare to do more with your resolutions. Write down what you
really, really want to do this year and do it. Commit and be courageous. You
may find that the year long process is more rewarding than the year end
results.
Happy New Year.
November 2009
Get Rooted!
When the season
changes and holiday time arrives, it always seems like a challenge to stay
grounded in our body and daily lives. These times, as always, are a great
opportunity to practice vrksasana, tree pose. To do so, just follow these steps:
*First stand upright while grounding down equally through your right and left
foot.
*Balance both feet, avoid leaning forward/back or left and right
*Engage all the muscles of your left leg, feel the muscles wrap around the
bones.
*Lift and place the right foot onto the top of left inner thigh, toes pointing
down.
*Hands move to heart center in prayer and then rise toward the sky.
*Hold this pose for several breaths, remember trees bend and sway, enjoy the
subtle movements.
*Switch sides and repeat the steps.
Practice this pose in the morning for a few moments or whenever you are feeling
a little off your center. Most
importantly, take time during your busy day to be still and strong. This
pose will help strengthen your legs and keep your mind and body steady.
October 2009
Just sit still
People
are always asking me “How do I begin a meditation practice?” This is a difficult
question to answer because in reality there is no right answer. There are many
ways to establish your personal practice and you just need to figure out what
works best for you.
However,
there are some basic steps one can take to get started:
Step
1: Find a place where you can concentrate without interruption.
Step
2: Allocate an amount of time and set a timer. Start with 10 minutes and
try to work yourself up to a daily time of 30-45 minutes.
Step
3: Establish a comfortable seated position on a cushion or in a chair. It
is recommended to sit cross legged, but do what works for you.
Step
4: Begin by breathing deeply. Lengthen through the crown of your head and
ground through your pelvis. Sitting upright and aligned aids the mind and
attention.
Step
5: Recite inwardly, “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be
peaceful and at ease.” You can continually repeat this or just notice
what happens with your mind.
Step
6: Keep observing everything. Keep your mind open.
Don’t
grasp on to any thoughts. Just breathe and let go.
Remember,
there are no “bad” meditation practitioners and no right answers. Just
follow these steps and see what happens if you dare to just sit still.
September 2009
Simplify
Our family just returned from a vacation, full of rest, in
Southern California. It feels
weird to even admit it, yet we all feel more relaxed and I can see it in our
faces. It made me wonder if, we ever realize the importance of resting, ahem
adults?
When our first travel day ended, we happily arrived at the
beach in Santa Barbara. The initial transition to being away from home meant a
night of light sleep and adjustment.
There was even a moment where my husband spoke out about considering
turning around and heading back home in the morning. Our over-tired children were misbehaving and too loud for
our hotel, although it was only 8pm.
When we woke with fresh eyes, we embraced the new
surrounding and different daily life.
It will all just get easier I assured everyone. As we began to settle into a routine of
only family time, walking, and seeing new places and faces, everything SLOWED.
With no house to clean and no meals to cook, there was a
real ease to the flow of the day. One
of the boys still naps and it was a blessing for us all. After lunch the whole family
participated in quiet time. We
discovered we all needed to put our feet up and chill out. Wow, a daily “siesta” happened for me,
ahh sleep.
The late afternoons were filled with walking, swimming,
beach time and an energized family.
Bedtime was almost always 8pm for the kids and 9:30 for the adults. While we had imagined late nights, our
bodies kept reminding us to rest.
We did mange to stay up for a hotel movie or later dinner a few nights,
however mostly we slept, deep sleep.
It was the first time we have travelled together and not
over done it. No BIG adventures, sure
we went to the zoo, aquarium, pier etc.
What I learned was simple. Being together in our family is enough, it is
a lot. All the “things” I thought
we had to DO to fill our time just melted away and never happened. We shared lots of laughs, enjoyed
nature, each other and best of all came home excited and well rested.
Sleep, it is essential to happiness!
August 2009
Sing Out!
My voice is raspy.
Doctors labeled me a “screamer” from babyhood and apparently this
created “nodules on vocal chords.” Many people say I sound like Lauren Bacall,
which might be a compliment, but not for a 4 year old.
After teaching yoga, I discovered Kirtan music, devotional
chanting. This type of
music/singing is said to heal and even bust open your heart. It all sounded a bit too California for
this East coast gal. Then I was
given a CD and I listened. Good
stuff, mellow yet rich with feeling, warming to my heart, ut oh!? Even my father, born in Brooklyn,
said he felt emotional when he heard chanting the first time.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I attended a Kirtan
Camp. 10 days of chanting, learning about gods and goddesses plus lots of
interesting stuff. At first I did
feel out of place, with no music background and definitely NOT a singing
voice. The feeling went away
quickly.
Most of my friends were surprised I informed them the music
was for the growing baby in my tummy. We started the day and 45 minutes would pass, simply chanting,
SITA RAM. It was like being
immersed in a wave and sea, what was happening?
It was fulfilling and fun for both the baby and me. It was pure joy, love, happiness and
blessings of opening the heart.
The added bonus was a new comfort with my voice, and a true desire to
share it. WOW!
The final day, all students were invited to help lead a12
hour Kirtan, open to the public. Super
nervous and questioning, would people leave or not respond to me? This isn’t about me though, it is about
sharing the divine with all. So, I
leap and led, eyes closed of course, to a large group, some friends, mostly
strangers.
After camp, life with a new baby took over and my singing audience
was the safest, bedtime for my son.
Later, my husband got me a harmonium as a gift. Occasionally, I would playa cord and
then away the harmonium went. Back
to collecting dust. Finally, a friend and I decided to take lessons
together. It is amazing how much
fun learning an instrument can be when you have no expectations of becoming a
professional.
Now chanting is a part of my yoga classes and
household. Singing has become a
moment of freedom for me. My heart
continues to find the space for everything. It is sunshine when my children run thru the house chanting
the names of the divine.
Also, it's incredible when my students say, “it is like a
lullaby in shavasana when you sing to us.” Me, with the one with the hoarse voice, really? Everyone enjoys hearing the divine being
called, no matter who is chanting it.
July 2009
Silence is Golden
Have you ever consciously chosen not to speak? Not out of anger or lack of words to
express how you feel. Just
deciding, today, I am not talking.
Today, I will move with mindfulness, aware of what I am doing right now. Being present to whatever happens, no
planning for future stuff.
A few months ago, I found myself wanting to go on silent
retreat. I went online, found a
retreat with space, immediately printed and filled out the form. A week went by, still holding the form,
I looked and the retreat was full.
Why had I procrastinated? That
day I sent the sheet to the center.
Well, I got in to the retreat, and decided, with the total
support of my husband, to attend. A silent retreat my friends would say, “why?” “You actually want to go away and not
talk, what will you do there?”
“Why not hit the spa?”
There is a spiritual teacher who reminds us the words SILENT
and LISTEN have the exact same letters.
My intention was to get silent, listen in the quiet and be with myself. It was exciting and also I sensed a bit
of hesitancy, nothing to do, no kids, no cooking, just sitting, walking, eating
and sleeping, it sounds simple.
When I arrived at the center, something shifted and I could
already feel my desire to be quiet set in. Once parked, I felt really absorbed in nature. Heading up the hill, my steps slowed,
my mind felt ready for the peace coming.
Maybe this was going to be easier then I thought after all.
The daily schedule began at 5:45am sit, eat, morning job,
and more sit, walk, sit, walk, sit, eat and in the evening there was a dharma
talk. Bedtime was at 9:30
and although none of it sounds tiring I was always asleep quickly. As the retreat progressed, the full
spectrum of emotions, distractions, and moments of peace moved through me.
At one point, I realized, meditation is a skill. This practice takes training and dedication.
Here I was in a half marathon of
the stillness and I had barely trained.
I definitely did NOT have a daily meditation routine prior to these 5
days. Somewhere in my mind though,
I expected to be, “successful” at the task.
While there was nothing to do, a lot “happened” for me at
the retreat. The beauty of the
practice is still “unfolding” within me daily. Now, I am committed to my training. I wake with 30 minutes
of intentional sitting. I time the event, just as I do when I am physically training
my body. When the buzzer goes off,
I feel a sense of gratitude for the silent practice.
Now my mind and heart are motivated to start the day with quiet
and I sit. All one has to do is
get up, sit still and breathe.
Sounds easy right? It is
incredible what shows up in the silence.
June 2009
PlayOut and work it!
My sons were playing hard the other day, they were running,
jumping and dancing around the house.
The shirts are off and one says, “we are really sweating mom.” I found myself reflecting on the
importance of movement in my life.
Sports and play have always been essential in my daily routine. I began
to wonder, “when did playing hard become working out?”
For the past 9 years, I have been fortunate to train clients
in Pilates and teach group yoga classes.
It always amazes me to see the transformation in the students’ posture,
face and energy in just a few moments of conscious motion. Could this really be play?
The form of exercise is anything, up the stairs, around the
track, in the pool and on and on.
Everyone always seems to feel better after shifting the shape of the
body from being still to dynamic.
Just remember how great a simple twist feels after a long car ride.
After watching the boys, I decided to include this
lesson/message into my next group yoga class and with private clients. When the public yoga class began we sat
in meditation. I invited the
students to recall a time when they were having fun in space, letting go and
freeing their bodies. Normally, my
eyes remain closed, however, that day, I admit, I peeked and opened my eyes. Immediately, I observed a shift in the
majority of the faces. They quickly
to soften, relaxed and some smiled.
The entire class focused on a strong flow with reiteration
of each new asana, pose, as a new part of playing on the mat. The questioned I posed for the students
was, “are you playing hard or working out?” How does one feel?
Rejuvenated, depleted, excited, energized or exhausted?
As the class came to close and the students took corpse
(resting) pose, the room was silent.
When the students returned to a seated pose, my final words were
something like this, “perhaps we most often think of exercise as a
workout. Is it possible to
remember, we really might just be playing?” Several students came directly up to me with enthusiasm and
said, “I feel amazing. Wow, my
body feels great. Moving is
wonderful.”
Really the class was the same stuff, as always yoga is about
liberating the mind, body and life. Before your next, “workout” I really encourage you to
remember, is it possible that you are just making time for PLAYing hard.